Hope Revisited

Waking Up

jonathanbarclay — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 04:03:32 +0000

One of my favorite pastimes has been arguing. I love being in a place where I am confronted with a situation and I need to wrestle over or defend truth. As charismatic as I am, I am sucker for a good old doctrinal teaching. In fact the search for doctrine and orthodoxy was one of the primary things that had driven me for years when I was at the International House of Prayer. It is clear to be seen across the United States at least that there is very little clarity and agreement on what the word of God says. Amidst a sea of voices, opinions, sincere preachers, skeptic professors, honest and confused orators, and eclectic authors there is no real sense of cohesiveness. America is a protestant nation and the church is more divided than our political parties. I love the church and pray that the day hastens when we are one, but for the moment there is dire need for clarity.

Upon moving to Japan a little less than a month ago my world has begun to shift concerning the effort and energy of my passions. A few weeks before I left Rob Bell released his book Love Wins. This book challenges the traditional view of hell and supposedly boasts claims that when all is said and done hell is emptied and everyone turns to Christ as a result of being compelled by Christ’s love. Naturally this book has been the focus of much controversy, argument, debate, and division. Because of my schedule being stretched by completely changing my life I really had no time to look into it. I love arguing and wrestling with these kind of teachings and a small part of me wanted to pull the book out and dissect it and spend time with my friends defending orthodoxy in our small circle at the Roasterie and maybe by posting a jarring blog that maybe ten people would read.

Now that I am in Japan my heart has seemed to shift away from that and am getting confronted by the meaninglessness and hypocrisy that can come so easily from spending a life of analysis and critique, even if it is for a good cause. Especially if it is because of truth. With this I am not saying that the thirst and fight for orthodoxy is a bad thing, it’s not and is desperately needed in this hour, I am saying that it can be dangerous. I could write and talk about at great length the need for orthodoxy and the shamefully disastrous way many streams in the Body of Christ go to great length to scoff at doctrine, theology, and orthodoxy. Yet orthodoxy becomes nothing removed from praxis. As James so eloquently put, “Faith without works is dead.”

I now live in a country where the Christian witness is nothing but a smoldering flame that the masses pass as they walk pass temples and porno shops on their way to fourteen hour workday that concludes with a trip to the bar and getting home for a few hours of sleep to repeat the cycle the next day. I am not saying this in a condemning way but just matter-of-factly. If you know me at all, you know that I could talk about ways the U.S. is in dire need of help. On top of that I now have the privilege to teach Bible, amongst English and history, to kids who prior to coming to the school knew nothing of Jesus. Their parents, culture, education system, and national philosophies have no room for Christ. In a coffee shop somewhere I would be compelled to discuss the need for the church to be a light, discuss answers to the “Does God care about people who haven’t heard” questions and accusations, or talk about the way god judges sin and ebb and flow into bringing it back to the compassion of God. I have never wanted to be a missionary or an evangelist, yet this is what I have become.

I have emerged from years of prayer and study to realize that things I have been studying and looking through are actually real and affecting real people. I look around and our goes every witticism about a theological point and I am gripped with a lost nation who I cannot even communicate to. I have left my ivory tower of eloquence, ideas, and words and am entrusted with young ones whose destinies I am now responsible to lead towards the light in a world where the knowledge of God is so incredibly rare.

I had discussed Rob’s position, examined the word, had the arguments and fought so dearly for ideas and my position that I had forgotten that eternity is real and the people I pass on the street are real people and not just background scenery. With this I give a call for those who fight for orthodoxy. Fight with all your might! Study, read, and dissect seeking God’s face and heart like it is treasure. And amidst the wrestle, amidst the analogies, the prayers on the microphone, the conversations remember the people you speak of are real and not just background characters. God is shaking the nations. The knowledge of God is needed. Our lives are not our own, they belong to Christ. I do not write this to condemn but to alert. God in his sovereignty and kindness led me to this place where I have to stare into reality more closely than I ever had to. For this I am grateful. There are storm clouds on the horizon, may we seek to respond rightly in word, thought, and deed in this hour.

Leadership and the Call for Endurance

jonathanbarclay — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 22:45:17 +0000

I am so grateful that Jesus is patient. He does not grow faint or nor discouraged and He is faithful to bring to pass all that He has purposed in His heart. One of the most striking things I have learned about leadership from Jesus is the issue of tenderness. His leadership is one that is not in rush. Often when looking at the issue of leadership is the need to remember that a leader is exactly that, a leader. A good leader is not someone with their own agenda trying to force to get their way as soon as possible. A leader is one who knows who they are leading and works with the ones they are over. It is the place of knowing how hard to push and when to let the group breathe. Concerning this issue I think one of the clearest pictures is the Lord taking a leader up to heaven to rebuke him saying that his impatience would in fact hurt many.

It would be nice if every crisis resolved itself in an hour and a half like many movies, but that certainly is not the case in real life. It is a travesty to assume that everyone you are leading is on the same page as you and that everything will work flawlessly. Leaders are leaders for the very reason that those around them are not leading, picking up the charge, or are bringing proper change or needed growth.

More often than not, the reason that change has not been made or leadership has not been taken up is because what is needed takes effort, energy, and is in fact difficult. If leadership were not difficult, there would be no need for leaders because everything needed would have taken care of itself already. One can look at the old maxim, “Rome was not built in a day.” Joshua did not just easily move into Canaan. David did not show up at the royal courts as soon as Samuel left his family’s house. Jeremiah was not given a binder of information for him to leave on the royal doorstep. Jesus had to be in the wilderness for forty days before starting his ministry after waiting thirty years. Paul labored in Corinth for months and his witness is very clear that up until he died he was leading many congregations.

There are no real guarantees in leadership. Leadership involves people and it involves time. It takes place in a fallen and broken world. On top of that it involves not only navigating through one’s own brokenness and sin but others as well. If that was not enough it also is a red flag for the devil’s attack. In an hour where darkness rages and wickedness all too often is affirmed, what is needed are those who choose righteousness and lead despite the difficulties surrounding their current situations.

That which stabilizes the believer in the place truly is the knowledge of God. It is His power and grace that guide and help many lead. Looking throughout church history it is clear to see that the only perfect leader was and is Christ. Leaders fail, stumble, and do things far from perfectly. However, leadership is vastly needed in this hour and especially needed from those who refuse to shrink back from the daunting situations. Leadership is not a call for showmanship but rather plowing and pioneering. Looking towards the days to come one verse grips me concerning this, it is Daniel 11:32. It simply says, “Those who do wickedly against the covenant he shall corrupt with flattery; but the people who know their God shall be strong, and carry out great exploits.” This is what is needed in this hour, those who have built their houses on the rock of the knowledge of God who are ready to endure the storm.

(This was published at 5:44 P.M. on Wednesday, March 16, 2011)

Justice and the Eternal Perspective (1500)

jonathanbarclay — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 21:24:28 +0000

One of the most important things needed when discussing the issue of Justice is the issue of eternal perspective. History is filled with examples of people who have tried to establish justice void of any eternal perspective. The majority of justice movements on the earth today are driven by some way, shape, or form to establish some semblance of an utopia. It is easy to look at Justice through the lens of immediate needs and immediate concerns and get pigeonholed into a sort of myopia. It is the poor now, the environment now, social issues now, the race issue now, and most recently many have tried to address the issue of religion now. It takes no hard work to see that the world is riddled with injustice and that something needs to be done and change needs to happen. Our hope as Christians is to properly address the problem, have an understanding of what God has done and is going to do concerning it, and do all we can to point to it.
Many leaders in the body of Christ have made great compromises especially concerning the person of Christ when dealing with the issues of injustice that plague our world. Often the focus becomes issues aside from the problem being sin. Justice becomes what is done in the immediate as opposed to taking into consideration the eternal reality in which we as humans live in. The issue of eternal judgment is often diverted to the external needs and the problem of sin is replaced by external social reform. Alongside of that, the vision of God’s coming kingdom, which includes his judging of the nations and sin, is exchanged for an urgency for a humanistic attempt for societal harmony. God’s power and wisdom is easily exchanged for the might of man and God often takes a backseat in many dialogues and organizations.
However on the flipside, many in the body of Christ have flat out ignored the issue of justice because of poor misconceptions of eternity. The phrase “The be too heavenly minded, is to be of no earthly good,” came into being because the view of eternity was one of detached escapism in which God was pretty much detached from the affairs of men. True eternal perspective sees God’s heart to do things such as delivering people from captivity, taking the poor out of the ashes and bringing them into his courts, doing away with oppression, causing wars to cease, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, healing the environment, and removing sin and Satan off of the earth. As Christians one of our biggest witnesses is to point to that day by testifying to the Just One in word and deed. Our goal is not to get wrapped up in ideals and in issues but to point to Christ and reveal the justice he brings and call people to receive the liberation he gives.

Leadership and Risk

jonathanbarclay — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 23:43:18 +0000

When looking at the issue of leadership one of the looming questions over it is, “Why is there a need for leadership.” A leader answers the question of need and there is need because something is not being met. One of the most basic needs for a leader is the need to step beyond themselves, take a gamble and take risks. Whether it is the risk of being ignored or ostracized by their peers or the risk of failure down the road, the risk needs to be made.

Much of the idea of risk taking I covered in the previous blog but there is always something more to add. In looking at the third chapter of Truth and Transformation one of the biggest risks one could take in the East is the fight for family values. In a culture where having several mistresses is a norm, my hat goes off to those men who lay down their lives and honor their spouses. In such misogynistic cultures, the place of honoring and respecting one’s wife can lead to being cast out of the community and have social and economic ramifications.

Love in and of itself is a huge risk. When a man wants to pursue a woman rightly he has to open up his heart and lay it on the line nearly from the get-go. This is an enormous risk. It is one of those things that is best modeled by Christ who continually opens his heart up not just to the world but to his bride and time and time again is ignored or trampled.

Leading in this capacity is not for the faint of heart and is not for those whose primary goal in life is comfort. It is an embracing of the unknown and an opening of the heart with the chance for success or pain. In today’s day and age one thing dearly needed is courage accompanied with the willingness to fail and the willingness to be hurt in order to see change happen. Leadership is not about fighting for a place to receive the accolades of man, rather it is the laying hold of that which terrifies and confounds many.

Initiative

jonathanbarclay — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 00:28:39 +0000

Edmund Burke once said, “All that is necessary for evil to truimph is for good men to do nothing.” I believe that this is one of those few quotes that describe what a great leader achieves. History is shaped and sculped by those who have taken initiative. One can hardly fathom what would have happened if David had not rushed to his sling or if Luther had not nailed his 95 Theses on the door of the Wittenburg Chapel. What if Columbus never boarded a ship and what if Wilberforce had just minded his own business? History is chock full of men and women who have taken initiative.
The kingdom of God is that way too. There are many men and women who have not answered the call God had placed before them. Abraham sojourned, Gideon gathered an army, Esther entered the King’d thronroom, and Jesus called disciples. One of the things that God values greatly is courage, the willing to step out in faith and take risks. This was the principle thing God commaned Joshua before entering the Promised land. On the flipside the very first group of people God subjects to the Lake of Fire is the cowardly.
Jesus was on to something when he referred to the masses as sheep. People for the most part are sheep, not knowing their right hand form their left and desperatelty seeking for a leader. This is why the masses clambored to make Jesus a king. In this day and age God is looking for shepherds. He promised in the last days that He would raise up shepherds after his own heart and is looking for those who will tend his sheep. Leadership is found when one amongst the sheep steps out and calls the others to greatness.

Leadership and Morality

jonathanbarclay — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 07:25:07 +0000

One of the most crucial things needed in the regards to leadership is morality, or ethics. This is one of those things that determines the weight, scope and impact of what one intends to lead. All too often what is forgotten or blindly assumed is the worldview that drives a leader. What are the parameters that they have set up, what is the direction they are taking a particular project, and with it not just the end but the means as well. One can looks all throughout the world and actually grade various groups and governments by their very ethic.

Judeo-Christian beliefs have become much of the moral foundation of the West, especially since the Reformation. Beliefs like “thou shalt not kill” and “thou shalt not steal” have branded a moral construct on our society and has shaped much of the way the west has grown. These type of values are seen far more clearly in places with a Christian worldview as opposed to many places in the third world. As the United States has stretched out its hand in giving aid to developing nations the moral foundation we have given has ceased to be that of strict moral ideas but instead we as a nation preach “democratic ideals.” Our view as a nation has been that of democracy and rights as opposed to an answer for right and wrong or any definitive sense of justice. The climate has changed from a state of right and wrong to an ever fluctuating mob rule ethic.

One of the ways I have encountered this is in the times I had volunteered with the Kansas City Rescue Mission. Even while talking to many of the clients there they all had this basic understanding of right and wrong. The depravity of human nature aside, even though many of these guys had been made many poor choices strong traces of Christian values were still within in them. During chapel services the issue that was preached was not an ethic, most of the men in there new that addiction, theft, and destructive behavior was wrong, but rather repentance and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to live righteously. Ethic was not so much the message but rather it was Christ.

As I am preparing to go to a nation that has little to no Christian ethic or history I am really intrigued about seeing how things break down in Japan. It is easy to see corruption in developing nations such as the DRC or Afghanistan but Japan is a highly developed nation that on the exterior has little problems socially and an incredibly low amount of crime. I am really excited to continue the journey of societal transformation and see where it leads and how it can play out globally.

Urban Adventures: Vol. 2

jonathanbarclay — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 12:14:29 +0000

I had the pleasure of getting an opportunity to hear what the Lord was doing in our city in one of the congregations from downtown Kansas City. In my practicum class we heard from a couple who is part of Restoration Church. The husband is a pastor on staff with them and his wife had been incredibly active in the ministry and had pulled out to pursue a career in the medical field. They had both come out of very rough lifestyles and focused their ministry on doing home discipleship groups. The thrust is immediate conversion and training in the basics of Christianity. They told us stories of witnessing to prostitutes and drug addicts. Along with this much time was spent fundraising for the ministry.
I thought they had many things to bring to the table. One of the things emphasized was getting new believers engaged in ministry and evangelism from the get go. I have seen many believers, including myself, shrink back from ministry because of feeling ill-equipped and scared. All too often it feels like that in order to do ministry one needs a vast history with the Lord and has mastered all of the right things to say as opposed to just relying on your testimony.
One thing I would like to see implemented with that is more time added in the Word and in prayer. One of the things that they told us is how badly they wished they had time for prayer and communion. I see great things ahead for this ministry as they further interact with Hope City and gives their ministers time to cultivate an interior life on top of the evangelistic one, by no means sacrificing one for the other but having both. I think it is amazing seeing the Body of Christ in its various shapes and forms, especially in the city. Spending so much time at IHOP, I have prayed a lot for the church in this city. It is good to have faces for those prayers as well as seeing God’s hand at work in expressions that are not always visible to me.
On top of that we have been given an assignment to survey the neighborhood we live in and evaluate, to the best of our abilities the condition of living we have found. I have yet to fully lay hold of this task but am excited to explore in the coming week. I have observed, however, the quick turn from lower class to upper class. The truth is that a few miles down the road from us is the Plaza and a few miles north is the most dangerous neighborhood in the city. One thing I have noticed about Kansas City is that it does not have the greatest public transit system. I think that this has a lot to do with how spread out the city is and how difficult it would be to do full scale renovations. This spring I spent some time in Boston and got to use the “T” which is their system and was quite impressed. It worked well there because of how compact the city is as opposed to Kansas City which is sprawled across the border of two states.

Urban Adventures: Vol. 1

jonathanbarclay — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 12:01:41 +0000

Living down in the inner city has been quite an adventure so far. I am finishing up my second month here more or less and am finally beginning to become acclimated to my surroundings. As part of my Practicum for school my class I attended a seminar taught led by local police officer Jason Cooley on the subject of safety in our particular urban environment.

Moving up here I can say that I was pretty naïve and confident about safety and things of that nature. I have never been heavily exposed long term to areas with incredibly high crime rates. I am a moderately traveled suburbanite at heart. This seminar helped open my eyes to just how dangerous the place I live in is.

Much of what he had shared was not necessarily new to me. That is one of the perks of wasting hours of your life watching crime dramas. However, one of the biggest things that hit me was that the area I live in has one of the highest crime rates in our city and in our nation. Who knew? I sure didn’t. It was also good to be reminded that anything could happen to me. With what I have seen portrayed in media I felt pretty safe. I mean how often do you see a big guy jumped or abducted in a movie or TV show? But it was good to have that helpful reminder. One of his final points hit me pretty heavily too. He concluded the lecture talking about the increasing darkness and danger of the world we live in. He started talking about the increase of church shootings that even the media are not reporting. It was a good capstone to his presentation because regardless of being in the inner city or not it is important to be careful and observant with your surroundings wherever you are.

As I am getting settled in to this new life I have been thinking and praying on and off about how to be a witness where I am. One of the biggest and already established way is with our landlord and his maintenance crew who have in and out of here often. Also I see an inroad in getting to know the neighbors and just talking to them. I am also thinking the biggest way for immediate impact is getting more plugged in with Hope City because they are already solidly linked and established to the community where as I know it is easy for me to just live through the daily rigors of life and forget about being a witness.

Reexamining the First Commandment

jonathanbarclay — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 22:16:24 +0000

And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
(Matthew 22:35-40)

I have heard it said by many sources that what the Lord is doing in this hour and what He desires for the church is that the First Commandment be made first place and that the Great Commandment should come before the Great Commission. This statement is revolutionary and amazing. I am excited to see God bring His people, myself especially, to find my fullness and identity in love. I believe that in the end he people of God will hold the identity as those who are loved by God and love God, fully being one through His Spirit.
I have heard and seen many different interpretations of what the first commandment looks like both in theory and in praxis. One of the biggest calls and reversals the First Commandment does is that it takes the gaze off of religious duty and ritual as means of identity and function and it also calls people away from the sways of humanistic conquest all in the name of Christ. With some expressions old time legalism arduously chasing the fulfillment of religious accomplishment and ministry trying to prove themselves to God and in others is a social justice movement whose focus is on ideals and precepts that humans are to rally together across social classes and religions to accomplish a sense of justice, the call to return to the First Commandment is vital.
However, with this call I have seen the pendulum swing the opposite way. In pursuing the First Commandment; loving God with all of our heart, soul, and mind; I have seen the pursuit of outward love and expression to others seen as irrelevant. I have seen a dangerous dichotomy arise where the First Commandment gets relegated to reading theological works, reading the Bible, and spending time in worship and prayer with external and outward expression of the faith being seen as a completely separate and at times inferior. Fasting, prayer, and study can easily be taken as a place of superiority above the person walking out holiness with fear and trembling at his office or the housewife being diligent with her finances.
I by no means am trying to look down on prayer, study, and fasting but I feel that when the First Commandment is stripped down to things of that nature we miss the invitation and the point. If the First Commandment becomes solely about how much time we spend hid away in a hole with a book or how deep our contemplation is or what kind of breakthrough we get in the place of prayer we miss the point. These are all important, but though they are central to it they are not the fullness. And if we leave it at that I believe that we come a far cry from fulfilling or even making the First Commandment first place.
When looking at the command to “Love the Lord our God with all our heart with all our soul and with all our mind” we need to ask the question, “What does it mean to love God?” I have seen people take it and equate it to amount of time spent in prayer, worship, reading, and how much fasting that is done. I am a firm believer in all of these things, but the Bible has more to say in regards to this. Jesus says in John 14:15 says, ‎”If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” Loving Jesus with all of our heart, soul, and mind connect deeply with this verse. Our goal as Christians in pursuing the First Commandment is first and foremost obedience. This includes being connected to the vine, picking up our cross and following Jesus, being a lamp on a hill, and pursuing the secret place of fellowship.
In looking at what it means to love God with everything there are many things we need to add to shape our lens of how we as believers seek to make the First Commandment first place in our lives. I think one place we need to look is the first epistle of John. First John 4:20-21 says, “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.” We love because He first loved us and we have received it, but its reflection is not in how much Scripture we can quote or how much power we have when we preach or pray but it is in the way we love our brothers and sisters. Along these lines James wrote concerning our worship and religion that it is not expressed in hours spent in worship services but rather: “Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world” James 1:27.

Much is to be commented on Isaiah 58 and what true fasting looks like or the way God despised Judah’s solemn assemblies because of their lack of justice in Isaiah 1. I by no means am discounting the place of prayer, the prayer movement, or anything along those lines. What I am saying is that in pursuing putting the First Commandment that on top of pursuing communion and a Spirit of wisdom and revelation that we also see it as pursuing and loving the one who commands us to look after the “least of these.”

The Belton Memoires Pt. 1 – First Impressions

jonathanbarclay — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 08:00:41 +0000

As part of my schooling with the Forerunner School of Ministry I am moving with the bulk of my program to the inner city to live for the next year. I have lived in Missouri for nearly the past seven years in a house with my family in Belton. That is nearly one third of my life. I did not just come out to this area to be involved with a ministry but I also came out here to finish high school. For me moving is not about relocating but truly leaving behind a huge chapter in my life. Belton as a city really has become home for me, the people, places, and culture. As my life transitions I am going to be taking some time to journal/blog about this little city and life in it through high school and beyond. These are stories, nothing meaning to be “spiritually deep” or anything monumental but reflections on life, people, high school, and the way time causes things to change. I hope you enjoy:

I remember that hot August afternoon in 2003 clearly. My family loaded into our van and we left the Best Western hotel on Longview after finally catching our breath from our long three day journey. Our first destination was a brief one but important, the International House of Prayer missions base. Being the socially awkward and mildly disinterested sixteen year-old I was, I had no intention of stepping into this new and busy hub of excitement and kept locked into the Norma Jean CD my portable CD player was cranking at full volume. After peaking into the prayer room my family then decided to get drinks at Higher Grounds. I haven’t the slightest recollection of what I got to drink but what I do remember really made my day that day. Up at the counter was a marketing picture with Lenny LaGuardia drinking a cup of coffee and leaning against a brick wall, the caption read “Amaretto in the Ghetto.” It pretty much was my first impression of IHOP and is one that sticks with me even today.

We then embarked south on Highway 71 to our final destination. After passing nothing but dead grass and a handful of shopping centers we finally got off on our exit, Y Highway. We took a few turns and finally arrived at our new home, 811 Givan Avenue. As we pulled up the combination of the scorching August heat, the awkward and faded brown paint of the house, and the golden brown grass in every yard that we could see made my heart a little downcast. This was a far cry from the lush green of Virginia with its hills and forests and beautiful colonial styled homes. It was every miserable cliché about Midwest topography I could think of. But hey, there was a Target within eyeshot of the house and tons of development that seemed to be on its way. I was happy for the new start and excited to let a new era in my life begin. I was pretty sure that I would grow to like this place.

It was not long before my junior year of high school began. Soon enough the day came when I was waiting at the bus stop in my neighborhood filled with all sorts of dread and anticipation. After five years at Heritage Christian Academy preceded by homeschooling, public school was a new experience for. I felt fairly confident and was hoping the Norma Jean t-shirt I was wearing would at least give me an inroad to some of the hardcore kids. I was the first one at the stop and slowly more kids began to trickle in. And when I say kids I mean kids. There was one other guy who seemed to be going to high school but all that showed up were middle school youngsters. Everything in me began to freak out. The bus came and let me on which did briefly calmed my nerves. If someone my age was allowed on I must be on the right bus, right? Things however, seemed to progress only from bad to worse. At our next several stops all that seemed to flood in were excited sixth graders. Yet with every ten or so that got on, one highschooler seemed to trickle in. The bus then got to the freshman center and all of them departed and then went across the street to the middle school. At that point it seemed everyone on the bus picked up there things and headed out.

Amidst the chaos of bustling middle schoolers panic began to set it.

“Was this the end of the line?”

“Was I on the wrong bus?”

“How do I get to where I need to be?” “

Will the bus even take me there or even home?”

“What if I’m late?”

“I wish I knew what was going on.”

All these thoughts and more swirled around in my head. When everything calmed down about thirty seconds later I looked around and noticed four other people still sitting on the bus with backpacks in tow. Peace then rushed into my heart at the glance of the wispy strands of the tenth grade mustache four rows behind me. This terror conquered, I was ready for anything.

We finally pulled up to Belton High School and we remaining stragglers slinked our way into the cafeteria. Through the double doors a whole new world awaited me. There were swarms of people all around. What seemed to be every demographic, both ethnic and economic, were well represented. I took it in for a few moments and then headed off to my first class. It was Chemistry with Mr. Beaman. He seemed like a great teacher, as did the next several I was introduced to that day. I made a few friends, the shirt did help, and began to get settled in. Come round 2:35 or so in the afternoon school was let out and I made my way to the bus. Facing the bus this time was a completely different matter. I knew it was the right one. I knew it would take me where I needed to go. I also now knew that middle schoolers would in fact be riding along with me. What I failed to realize was that the high school was the last place students were picked up. The bus I entered was filled with loud, stinky, obnoxious middle schoolers wound up to no end. The ride went smoothly after hunting arduously for a seat. Belton was now my home and it was time to settle into it. My house, my schedule and my life finally seemed to fall into place.